I nearly wanted to just kill him!

I could not believe my ears.

"I'm not sure you did anything at all, all my comments are the same and I didn't bother to read any further... I'm hoping that you have another draft and this is not the lastest one."

"Yea, I got another which I did some things up over the weekend.."

" No I dun want to see minor changes, you need major changes.. Until then I'm not reading anymore things."

I nearly choked when I heard those words, I thought that the second lastest draft is good enough to at least hear some positive comments. But ....

Some how I had this tingling feeling that he had read the older version and my suspicious were confirmed when I went back to the lab to access my email.

That idiotic supervisor of mine read the bloodly old version which he slammed down almost everything in it. Obviously if he read the same draft, the comments were going to be the same. Plus it was so obvious he did nothing over the weekend and just read my intro like briefly just before asking me to meet at his office.

What a bugger!, Lazy arse.! He didn't even bother to finish reading everything!

What the heck!. This is what I paid Monash International for. 23k Aussie dollars , for such crap supervision. Man, I feel cheated of my money! Bull crap education!

Am near the edge of giving up, I am so tired. Burnt out academically. Academically to date, this year has been the most challenging, I had to give up/sacrificed so much of my time and leisure. And only to have a supervisor whom I do not feel like he is running this bloodly tiring race with me with all that he has got.

I can only turn to God, for he can and is willing to calm all storms. He will fight my battle with me and for me. I am indeed pushed to the limit. I am near to tears. Desperate. Lost. Uncertain of what he wants from me.

Although this is out of context, I thank God for 2nd Corinthians 4:8-9: We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.


Holding tightly onto what I read last nite:
Psalms 126: When the Lord brought back the captives to Zion, we were like men who dreamed.
Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy.
Then it was said among the nations, "The Lord has done great things for them."
The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.
Restore our fortunes, O Lord , like streams in the Negev.
Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.
He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.

I believe that I will reap what I sow, that all my efforts and sacrifices will not go to waste.

Whats with TA and me?

Juz an interesting observation i made today...

TA has a rather interesting relationship with me.

I was in 24 SA(Singapore Artillery) in TA(Target Acquisition) Battery.
Now i am in a firm called Hudson Global Resource, as part of their talent management department working as a TA(Test Administrator).

TA .. haha

The light at the end of the tunnel

This the time of the year, where stress levels go up and work never seem to cease.
Just to illustrate how hectic my remaining weeks are going to be like, i shall share on my responsibilities as a student.

16Oct 06 Cross cultura essay deadline
25Oct 06 Thesis deadline
03Nov 06 Ethics Exam
15Nov 06Placement essay deadline

Plus i still need to work twice a week on tuesdays and fridays as part of my course.

This i hold onto:
Romans5:1-5
Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us .

Lord, I ask for PERSEVERANCE.

Dearest all, the light at the end of the tunnel in sight! Let us strain towards to goal ahead and not look back! Together we will finish this year well! Keep me in your prayers!

COME ON!!!!!

Wisdom

What if God say he will definantly grant you one wish, what would you ask for?
Would you ask for a long life? Loads of money? A large kingdom? A good wife? or for everyone to fear and respect you? What would you ask for? What do you want?


One of my favourite characters in the Bible is King Solomon. And this is why:

The Lord's offer:
1Kings3:5: At Gibeon the Lord appeared to Solomon during the night in a dream, and God said, "Ask for whatever you want me to give you."

Solomon's answer:
1Kings3:6-9:Solomon answered, "You have shown great kindness to your servant, my father David, because he was faithful to you and righteous and upright in heart. You have continued this great kindness to him and have given him a son to sit on his throne this very day. "Now, O Lord my God, you have made your servant king in place of my father David. But I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties.
Your servant is here among the people you have chosen, a great people, too numerous to count or number. So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?"

God's response:
1Kings3:10-14:The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for this. So God said to him, "Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, I will do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you, nor will there ever be. Moreover, I will give you what you have not asked for-both riches and honor-so that in your lifetime you will have no equal among kings. And if you walk in my ways and obey my statutes and commands as David your father did, I will give you a long life."

Isn't that simply amazing?

Lord, grant me your wisdom, just like how you gave King Solomon. I want that! I want that so i can serve your people. So i can minister to lives and impact people.

The next level

I am the True Vine, and My Father is the Vinedresser.
Any branch in Me that does not bear fruit [that stops bearing] He cuts away (trims off, takes away); and He cleanses and repeatedly prunes every branch that continues to bear fruit, to make it bear more and richer and more excellent fruit. You are cleansed and pruned already, because of the word which I have given you [the teachings I have discussed with you]. Dwell in Me, and I will dwell in you. [Live in Me, and I will live in you.] Just as no branch can bear fruit of itself without abiding in (being vitally united to) the vine, neither can you bear fruit unless you abide in Me.

I am the Vine; you are the branches. Whoever lives in Me and I in him bears much (abundant) fruit. However, apart from Me [cut off from vital union with Me] you can do nothing. If a person does not dwell in Me, he is thrown out like a [broken-off] branch, and withers; such branches are gathered up and thrown into the fire, and they are burned. If you live in Me [abide vitally united to Me] and My words remain in you and continue to live in your hearts, ask whatever you will, and it shall be done for you. When you bear (produce) much fruit, My Father is honored and glorified, and you show and prove yourselves to be true followers of Mine.
John15:1-8 Amplified Version

"....If you have been doing all the small things, seeking God daily, like doing your quiet time and praying to him, have faith that you are in God's will, and what ever you are desiring and planning is his will."

"As long as God is no1, anyone or anything can be no2, as long as God is no1"

Just like Matthew 6:33 states,"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

And it occurred to me this morning, that I was constantly seeking to " up my level", and I constantly try to serve God in bigger ways and means. I put in my best for cell. I desired for gifts, such as wisdom, power, authority, tongues, leadership, etc...I desperately want to have good fruits. For it is by its fruit a tree is judge and John15:8 " When you bear(produce) much fruit, my father is honoured and glorified and you showand prove to yourself to be true followers of mine."

But I forgot that, the truly "upping of a level" is in the consistency of the little things , of the relationship with God, of dwelling in him, of abiding in him. God created men and place this great amazing salvation plan into action for only one reason: to have a relationship with us. To tear everything apart, he doesn't really care about my ministry, and all the things I do to please him. All he wants is just simply me, my whole heart.

And everything seems to fall into place straight away.

"You can never give what you do not have," "You can never lead to where you never been."
Basically I need to receive from God and bask in his almighty grace and love, and only then , will my well spring of living water be over flowing. Only then can i have impact and success.

Not by my might nor by power but by the spirit of God

It is time lord, to rededicate my life to you, and proclaim that nolonger will I use "busy" as an excuse.

business advisory

Organisation Strategy & Design
This involves developing winning business strategies for clients to sharpen their competitive edge in the marketplace and includes Privatisation, Innovation Management and Organisation Design and Restructuring.

People & Performance
Our services include HR Systems and Processes, Training & Development, Performance Measurement & Management, Change Management, Organisational Health Surveys and Cultural Assessments.

Knowledge & Learning
We can assist in developing and establishing a Knowledge Management system which supports the creation and use of information, data and intellect that exists in the people who work for the organisation

Process & Quality Improvement
We aim to assist clients in establishing a holistic approach to quality management through the adoption of the SQA framework which incorporates our change management methodology. Examples which include work redesign to assist clients in identifying opportunities to harness new knowledge and skills for competitive advantage, establishing appropriate service standards, developing an implementation plan to communicate and audit such standards.

Shareholder Value
One of the ways in which we can assist companies in focusing on value creation is through the design of and approach towards a Value Based Management System. We work with clients to understand key business processes such as resource allocation, planning and budgeting and goal setting to establish alignment between economic earnings and these processes.

Sounds exciting stuffs! Maybe i should go back to Singapore and intern in Ernst and Young Singapore. Should be kwell .... heh What say you?

Sometimes, the answers that God gives are more difficult to accept than his silence

"What can be greater than a pain of an unanswered prayer?"

Maybe it is the pain of an answered prayer.

We are always taking a risk when we pray, for God may answer us things that we prefer not to know.His purposes and plans we find unbelieveable and unacceptable.We need to learn that sometimes when we pray, we do not get the answers we want. But we must have faith that God has our best interests at heart.

Our duty is not to understand but to accept it.

Just amazing how reading my old blog ministers and speaks to me. Shows that , i have not made much progress since i suppose...

Memories from the past

I recieved a rather surprising email for a good brother of mine today. Apparently, he somehow stumbled onto my ex blog...

From: serendipity
To: jixiangfoo@gmail.com
Date: 05-Oct-2006 16:35
Subject: New comment on Forming a sinful impression

serendipity has left a new comment on your post "Forming a sinful impression":
hey boyboy
next time i'm looking for a sermon, i'll come to you. haha ... super duper chim blog.
anyway, all i know is ...liverpool 0 - chelsea 1
haha ..
anyway, glad to be running the race with you.
god bless,

Hey bro,
Just want you to know that, it is my honour to have known you and to run his race with you too!
BTW its Chelsea 1 Liverpool nil... wait for the return game.. it will be LIVERPOOL 3 Chelsea 1(give Chelsea score a goal, if not, too paiseh, heh!)

For the post: http://learningtobestill.blogspot.com/2004/09/forming-sinful-impression.html

EXtinguished

As quickly as my excitment grew, the hope that i had vanished into thin air...


From: National Australia Bank
To: jixiangfoo@gmail.com
Date: 02-Oct-2006 13:15
Subject: NAB IMS Internship - Application update



Dear Ji xiang,
Thank you for your application for the IMS Summer Internship and for your interest in National Australia Bank.

Unfortunately, as you do not hold Permanent Australian Residency, we are unable to proceed with your application.

Should your residency status change, we would be happy to consider any future applications that you submit.

Thank you again and best of luck with the remainder of the academic year.

Regards,
The National Australia Bank Recruitment Team.

From: jixiang foo
To: National Australia Bank
Date: 02-Oct-2006 14:08
Subject: Re: NAB IMS Internship - Application update

To whom it may concern,

Thank you for your prompt update.

I am really very keen on working in National Australia Bank. I am currently holding a student visa with work permit to the end of Feb07. Therefore i do not for see any visa complications.

Also, i do intend to apply for Masters in Organisation Psychology with Monash next year (2007) and will be eligible for Permanent residency after the course.

I sincerely hope that my application can be re-considered.

Regards,
Jixiang Foo


From: graduatecareers@national.com.au
To: jixiang foo
Date: 02-Oct-2006 15:15
Subject: Re: NAB IMS Internship - Application update

Hi Jixiang,
Unfortunately our guidelines prevent us from recruiting anyone who is not already a holder of PR or Australian citizenship. We will happily consider an application from you once this has been granted.Please do not hesitate to contact us should you have any further questions.

Thank you & kind regards,
The Graduate Recruitment Team
National Australia Bank Ltd
Email:graduate_careers@nab.com.au
Website:http://www.national.com.au/graduatecareers

Latest hope.

I applied for this

http://www.national.com.au/About_Us/0,,25458,00.html

Hopefully, i will be able to get it.

Come on God!